


Salvation

by ywhiterain



Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Character Study, DOPPLEGANGERS IN LOVE, Drowning, F/M, M/M, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Torture, lexi is stefan's religion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-17
Updated: 2013-05-17
Packaged: 2017-12-12 03:27:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/806654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ywhiterain/pseuds/ywhiterain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stefan dreams. post 4x23</p>
            </blockquote>





	Salvation

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: torture via drowning, sexual abuse from Klaus and Katherine to Stefan, physical abuse from Klaus and Lexi to Stefan. Stefan kills humans. Some graphic imagery

Lexi grabbed Stefan by the back of his neck and drew him to her. "Portland, huh?"

"I'm trying to drive here," Stefan said and swerved to the right in order to make her laugh.

And she did. "Main or Oregon?"

"Lets flip a coin," Stefan said.

-

Then Stefan woke up, eyes drowning in water.

-

One of the first things Lexi taught Stefan was how to tell how much time had passed when there was no light from the sun. He'd learned that lesson while wearing his own blood instead of clothing.

"Listen," she had told him, "and count how many steps I'm taking. Keep track of how fast I'm moving."

Stefan listened to the fish moving and counted how long it took them to swim from one side of the lake to the other.

He counted about three hours before he passed out.

-

"You need to get up, sleepy head," Elena said, turning around to face him. Stefan grabbed the pillow from under her head and hid under it. She laughed. "Do you plan to draw blood from your patients from home, Doctor Salvatore?"

"You can do a lot of incredible things with technology these days," Stefan said.

Elena took hold of the pillow and Stefan knew she was thinking about hitting him with it. He grinned and grabbed the blanket, about to pull it over his face and she lifted the pillow above his head. But before she could hit him or he could hide again, someone ran into the room and jumped in bed with them.

"If Dad gets to stay home, so do I!" Lily said.

Stefan grabbed her by the waist and pulled her forward. He pressed a kiss on her forehead. "We'll also get to eat chocolate all day long."

Lily let out whoop of joy and Elena threw a dirty sock at him. "You have created a monster." Stefan tossed the sock back at her, but she was able to duck away from it in time. "And you get to deal with it."

"No school, no school, no school!" Lily cried as she jumped off the bed and ran out into the hallway. 

"Have fun with that," Elena said as she walked over to him. She pressed a kiss on his lips. "I'll be spending the day a the history museum. To do some research."

"Just because I made this mess," Lily took that moment to make something crash and they both cringed, "doesn't mean you're not a cruel woman for making me handle it alone."

Elena stuck out her tongue and Lily rushed back into the room. She had a kitten in her arms. It was dead by a wound in the neck. And there was blood dripping down her fangs to her chin.

-

Stefan woke up and took and did not try and calm his racing heart.

It would hurt less in the long run to pump through the blood he had in his system as fast as possible. That was another thing he'd learned from Lexi.

-

Klaus had a hand in Stefan's hair, forcing his head back in order to have Stefan's neck exposed. "Are you going to resist?"

Stefan closed his eyes. He licked his lips. "I do what you say."

The way Klaus laughed made Stefan shiver. "It would be understandable if you were to try and resist." He jerked Stefan's head back more and some part of Stefan knew he should pull away. But the part of Stefan that had helped him live for over a hundred years knew to stay put. "I said I wanted your for your talent." He ran his index finger down the line of Stefan's throat. "I said nothing about this."

Stefan pushed into the touch. "I know the deal that I made."

Klaus shoved him down and was on top of him before Stefan's back hit the dirt. "That almost sounds like a challenge."

"It's not," Stefan said. Klaus leaned forward and Stefan offered his neck. "I know my place."

As Klaus' lips spread into a grin, Stefan, in turn, spread his legs.

-

Stefan woke up and the water stung in his eyes. 

He pushed the dream down and and counted to ten over and over. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi...

-

Stefan spun Caroline and she spun back to him. He stared at her and she stared at him. Her shoulders were bare and he could think of nothing else but that fact as he set his hands on them.

"Stefan," she said, her whisper echoing loudly in the empty gym. She stepped closer and kissed him.

He muttered her name into her mouth as she pushed him back. He closed his eyes and fell back into a bed and she kissed down his neck.

"You always make me do all the work when I'm on top," Rebekah complained.

Stefan snarled and grabbed her by the hips and rolled them over. "That's because you always make me do all the work when I'm on top."

"I like you better when you're nice to me," Rebekah said, closing her eyes as he cupped her face with both hands, making sure to touch her lightly. He pressed his lips against hers and she wrapped her arms around his middle and pushed.

The back of his head hit the ground so hard he saw stars. When his vision was clear, all he could see was Lexi on top of him, hissing. 

Stefan relaxed and stared up at his best friend until she decided to get off of him because he knew this moment would pass quickly and he wanted to memorize every line of her face. 

"You need to wake up," she said.

"I'd rather not," Stefan started.

-

"But you're right," Stefan finished as he opened his eyes. 

His voice was not able to carry through the water. But the water was able to choke him. He had no time to count anything.

-

Katherine grabbed a chair and turned it around. She straddled it and set her chin on the back of it. "You were the best choice she ever made." 

Stefan plopped down on his back and stared up. They were in Katherine's old room in his home. The ceiling looked the same. It made him remember her hands on his wrists and teeth in his neck as she moved atop him. 

"But she decided to make the worst choice," Katherine said.

He could hear her standing up and walking over to him. She straddled him and Stefan tensed. As she leaned down, her curly hair brushed across his skin. "I can see why. That's always been part of Damon's charm." She pressed her lips the side of his ear. "But I don't have to tell you that, do I?"

Stefan refused to make a sound when she dropped her fangs and tore into him.

-

Damon, Stefan thought, Damon, Damon, Damon.

He could not recall any other word.

Damon. Damon. Damon.

-

"I got the girl," Damon said. He tapped his finger on Stefan's chin. "But I lost you."

"Does it matter?" Stefan asked. He tried to move his arms out or to his chest or anywhere but where they were. But they were tied down.

Damon took a step back and turned around. "That's a stupid question, brother."

Stefan gritted his teeth. He was dreaming. That, he was sure of. Everything was under his control. So he made Damon turn around. "I want to know if it matters to you."

Damon said nothing.

"Elena is a vampire now," Stefan said, glaring into his blank face. "So we're not meeting up in sixty years. Does it matter?"

Damon said nothing.

That was his own fault, so Stefan slumped and waited to wake up.

-

Stefan was hungry. He was always hungry. It was a constant ache inside of him, even when he had blood pouring into his mouth. 

The pain of his heart trying to pump something through his veins and the sight of his skin turning gray was also nothing new to him. It was one of Lexi's favorite tricks.

But the thing about torture -

-

Klaus grabbed his face with both hands and snapped his neck.

Stefan didn't get a chance to scream.

But he got a chance to feel the ache in his bones when he came to and Klaus was leaning over him and ready to break his neck once more.

And again. And again. And again.

Stefan knew he was dreaming, but didn't bother to try and wake up. 

This hurt less.

-

But he woke up anyway.

The thing about torture, Stefan thought, as he tried to ignore the burn in his veins and make himself sleep again, is that while it's possible to get used to. It still -

-

Lexi was inside his head and making everything burn. Stefan wanted to spit at her and yell at her and tell her he hated her. But the only thing he could do was scream.

And, he knew, that soon he wouldn't want to lash out at her. He would just want to remain quiet. But she wouldn't allow that.

She needed him to scream.

-

The thing about torture was -

-

Stefan grabbed a man. "Tell me your name."

The man tried to shove Stefan away. Stefan clenched his shoulders and accidentally crushed his bones. Control had always come fairly easily to him. But the hunger he felt every single moment of every single day made everything he used to be able do crumble between his fingers. "I want your name."

The man was shouting in pain and that reminded Stefan of what he could do. Compulsion. He grabbed the man's face and forced him to look into Stefan's eyes like Katherine had done to him just months ago. "Give me your name."

The man opened his mouth.

-

That torture could be endured, but it would always chip away at you, it would always hurt.

Stefan screamed until the water choked him dead.

-

Elena grabbed him and held him to her chest and ran her fingers through his hair. "It's okay, Stefan."

Stefan choked up water and shook his head. He could feel her heart beating. He pressed closer to it and hid his face in her shirt.

"Yes," she said so firmly that Stefan pulled back in order to look up at her. He had to. She set her hand on his face. "That's it, Stefan. Focus. It'll help you fight."

"I don't want to," Stefan said.

"You have to," Elena said and pressed her forehead against his. "I owe you one. I need to pay you back. So fight for me."

Stefan's head fell back.

-

And it hit the wood and Stefan hissed, making water fill into his mouth. Hungry, Stefan swallowed it down like it was blood.

Then, he counted.


End file.
